


Escape the Room

by Ramaque



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (mild), Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Blind Date, Exhibitionism, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, Tentabulges (Homestuck), Trans Character, Trans Female Character, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23167234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramaque/pseuds/Ramaque
Summary: This is my gift to Monty for Karkat Thirst Server's Valentine's Gift Exchange! He requested June, and I basically took the "blind date gone sexual" prompt and ran like hell with it. Hope you enjoy!Idea is this: Three strangers are tricked by their friends and family into being locked in an escape room together. It ends much more pleasantly than expected.
Relationships: Dirk Strider/Karkat Vantas, June Egbert/Karkat Vantas, June Egbert/Karkat Vantas/Roxy Lalonde, June Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, Roxy Lalonde/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42
Collections: Karkat Thirst Valentine's Day Gift Exchange 2020





	Escape the Room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heroboof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroboof/gifts).



June was excited about this evening. It had been way too long since she went out and just had a fun, stress-free time being out with good friends. 

Well, good friends and future good friends, since Dave had invited his cousin Roxy and Dave’s brother Dirk was bringing his own friend, neither of whom June had ever met. It was kind of surprising in Roxy's case, since June had known the Striders so long. June had heard plenty of family stories from Dave and Dirk, and she knew Roxy was nonbinary and had just moved back in-state since finishing grad school, but that was about it.

It's not like June gets nervous around new people. She always wins them over eventually, but since her transition, well… let’s just say the world around her has experienced some growing pains learning to accept her for who she is. (The pain was mostly on her side, the growing on other people’s.)

Still, she was going to be with Dave, plus his family and friends! Dave and June have been best friends since the day they met, when they were both still insufferable preteens. She trusted him completely, so June was sure tonight was going to be great fun!

June was interrupted from her contemplation by sudden shouting in her immediate vicinity.

“DIRK, WHAT THE FUCK. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?”

That caught June’s attention. It seemed a little coincidental that she was meeting Dave and Dirk here, and this stranger was shouting at someone named Dirk.

June took in the thick black hair, grey skin and candy corn horns that denoted the shouting man’s troll lineage. Either Dave had a more interesting family tree than he had ever shared with June in their decade of friendship, or this was definitely not the cousin Dave had mentioned coming tonight. This must be the friend Dirk said he was bringing.

Dave had been pretty tight-lipped on the details of said friend, but every time he was mentioned, June kept noticing the slight upturn of the corner of Dave’s mouth, like Dave couldn’t completely resist laughing at an inside joke he refused to share with June. No matter. June could smell a prank coming a mile away. It was in her blood as the rightful grandchild of Colonel Sassacre himself. June relished pranks. It just meant a war was coming, and Dave should know by now that he would only lose at that. Her best friend was what she liked to consider a glutton for punishment because he just kept trying anyway. She smiled to herself.

While June was having these thoughts, the stranger waited and listened into his phone, biting his lip with one of his sharp canines in a clear effort to hold in the new yells that wanted so badly to escape. He had a severe lack of any sort of fashion sense, but she actually thought it kind of worked for him. He was wearing shapeless tan corduroy pants and what looked to be a well-worn faded black sweater, which was also baggy and shapeless, but looked soft. A button down collar peeked out from under the sweater. That combined with his slightly styled wild hair made her think he might have actually made an effort with his appearance tonight. It was hard to tell for sure, but his chest and shoulders appeared to be pretty broad. He had a little bit of a double chin, a strong nose and jaw, and piercing red eyes. He was definitely striking. June tried to picture Dirk being friends and hanging out with this troll. It didn’t quite seem to fit.

June was busy watching the troll across the lobby when she felt a vague presence suddenly in her personal space to her left. She turned and was confronted with platinum blond hair and… pink heart-shaped sunglasses about 6 inches from her face.

“Whatcha grinnin’ bout?” the pink hearts queried.

Who actually wears sunglasses like that in public?

“Uh…” June chuckled awkwardly.

The stranger just smiled an easy and natural smile and stared back at June (or she assumed that’s what they were doing – the hearts were mirror shades) and waited, arm thrown casually across the bench behind June’s back, as if they knew each other.

June leaned away from the new stranger enough to take in the rest of their person. Dark blue hoodie with “T-SHIRT” emblazoned across the chest in white. Long, shapely legs clad in black skinny jeans and white converses with pink laces… which matched the shade of the sunglasses too perfectly to be coincidence. Really? Who does that?

This odd and mildly intrusive person actually gave June the weirdest sense of déjà vu until a thought occurred to her. If she imagined this stranger’s blond hair – which was short cropped in the back with long curly tendrils in the front – as more even and shaggy… and if she imagined the pink hearts as Ben Stiller shades… It was like she was suddenly staring at her best friend.

Oh. It clicked.

“…Roxy?”

The stranger reached up and lowered the hearts enough for June to see eyes she could have sworn held pink irises. Fucking Strider-Lalondes. Then Roxy (apparently) winked at her.

“June,” they greeted. They put the hearts back in place and smiled smugly. “Pleasure to meetcha finally.”

She would not let anyone ever accuse her dad of failing to raise her with manners, so June thrust her hand out to Roxy.

“Pleasure’s all mine.”

June said this in the most straightforward, casually friendly way possible. It was almost automatic even. June was just being polite.

You wouldn’t know that judging by Roxy’s reaction. They lightly stroked the inside of June’s wrist down to her hand, wrapped their own hand around June’s, and squeezed… June would honestly be hard pressed to call it a handshake.

She chuckled awkwardly again.

June was saved from having to react to this by the sudden return of the troll’s yelling.

“What. The taintchafing motherfuck. Do you mean you’re NOT COMING, you feculent dickwad?!”

Wait, what? Isn’t he talking to Dirk? Dirk’s not coming?

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, do it without you? You are the only person here I KNOW, nook-for-brains!”

June felt bad for the troll. This was going to be so awkward for him. She always forgot what a dick Dirk could be when he wanted to be.

“Strider party?” a voice called politely to the lobby at large.

June stood and brushed the wrinkles from her flowy black shorts and comic print leggings before walking to the desk to talk to the attendant. She vaguely registered Roxy’s presence following behind her and subconsciously straightened her fitted Slimer graphic tee.

“Shut up. Just SHUT UP. I have to go. You’re the worst. Bye,” and with that the troll marched over to join them.

“Everybody here?” the employee asked pleasantly, looking between each of the three of them.

The troll grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

“Actually, we’re still missing two…” June glanced at the troll, “Er… I guess one person,” June supplied sheepishly. 

Where the hell was Dave anyway? He was kind of flaky, sure, but this was pushing it. The whole thing was his idea anyway!

“Oh! I’m so sorry, but we have to stick to very strict timetables here. The room was booked for the time slot after yours, so if we don’t go ahead and get you started, I am afraid you’ll have to forfeit your reservation…” The poor attendant was young and really did look apologetic about it. “Again, I am SO sorry… Company policy you know…”

The attendant brushed their hair behind their ear and shifted their feet nervously, looking hopefully at June for mercy.

June sighed. It wasn’t their fault, after all. What could they do?

“Fucking Striders… I already paid for this shit too – what about you nookwhiffs?”

It took June a second to realize the troll was addressing her and Roxy. She couldn’t imagine what she could have done to earn his ire already, but when she looked at him, he didn’t actually seem angry at her or Roxy, just inquisitive. The scowl was there, but it seemed undirected. June was beginning to suspect that was just his face.

Roxy answered first, seeming completely unfazed by the insult, “I sure did, yeah, and the booking was non-freaking-refundable. Shoulda known better by now, really. Only known those two idiots my whole life.”

Despite their words, Roxy seemed mildly irritated by the sequence of events at most. When they looked over at June, the little wrinkle between their eyebrows smoothed out and they smiled almost conspiratorially. June had no idea what that could have meant.

“We have some instructions to go over anyway! Perhaps your friend will have arrived by the time I get through with those?” the employee suggested.

They all looked at each other and shrugged mutually. It was as good a plan as any.

June said, “I’ll text Dave.” She knew better than to call. She wasn't completely sure Dave knew that phones can be used for calls. 98% sure maybe, but not 100%.

Throughout the instructions, to which June only paid less than half of her attention, June kept glancing at her text messages, waiting for a new notification from Dave. Finally, the employee clapped their hands together and enthusiastically proclaimed, “Okay, that’s it! Everybody ready to get locked in?”

It was only at that moment that June finally panicked.

She knew nothing about these people and she was about to spend almost an entire hour trapped in a small room with them… _trying_ to escape. Yes, they had mutual friends (or family), but still June knew exactly nothing about them. What if… what if they ended up being serial killers? Psychopaths? The troll seemed to have some anger issues, and Roxy was… more comfortable with June than seemed reasonable. What if June did something to make one of them snap? ...or, more likely, _they found out something about her that made them snap?_

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
  
EB: gfdi dave!  
EB: where are you?!  
EB: i’m ALONE with YOUR cousin and DIRK’S friend!  
EB: where are YOU?

June stared at her phone in frustration for a few more seconds before looking up to the sight of the door shutting behind the nice escape room attendant.

"Good luck!" they said, waving cheerfully.

Only once she heard the click of the lock did her phone ping in her hand. Dave and his perfect fucking timing.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--  
  
TG: whoa dude chill  
TG: rox is cool as hell and karkat... well karkats karkat  
TG: dudes funny  
EB: well THIS isn’t funny, dave.  
EB: they just locked the door!  
TG: oh yeah shit dude my b  
TG: forgot to tell you were not coming  
EB: um...  
EB: what?!  
TG: yeah sorry  
TG: have fun though dude  
  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

June stood staring at her phone, completely dumbfounded. Was this the prank she had been waiting for? What kind of prank was this?

“Well this is just fan-fucking-tastic,” said her louder new companion.

June looked up at the troll… Karkat she assumed. That’s right – she hadn’t actually introduced herself to him yet. Blind panic was no excuse for bad manners. Her dad would be so embarrassed.

“Uh… Karkat, right? I’m June. And this is Roxy, ” June gestured in Roxy’s direction and held out her hand to shake Karkat’s.

“Call me Rox, cutie pie,” Rox added.

Karkat stared for a few seconds with his lip curled up over his pointy teeth.

“Ugh… are you really hitting on me right now? You don’t even… ugh,” Karkat looked at June’s hand and then Rox’s face in turn and snorted in apparent disgust. “Why in gog’s name am I here again? Is this some sort of cosmic joke? Haha, good one universe. Let’s shit on Karkat again, like that’s not beating a fucking dead horse by now.”

Rox actually bent over laughing. “Dude, you’re something else... You’re here cuz you fell for the Striders’ bullshit again, just like the rest of us.” Rox caught their breath and looked at June and Karkat in turn, sly grin creeping on their face. “May as well make the most of it now though...” They casually looked around the room. “Where do y’all think we should start looking for clues to get outta here?”

Karkat didn’t miss a beat apparently. “ 'Again'… have you been trapped in a small room with strangers by the brothers bulgemunch before? Haven’t you heard of learning from your fucking mistakes?”

June spluttered in an involuntary guffaw. Rox cackled. It was still soon to tell for sure, but June got the distinct impression that laughing was somewhere around 75% of Rox's daily activities. They had a truly luminous smile, and it was infectious.

Despite their amusement with Karkat, Rox calmed down and defended themself, “Well… you could say it’s a family trait, dealing in bullshit. This particular bullshit is new though, lmao.”

June spluttered again and shook her head, incredulous, “Did you just say ‘L.M.A.O.’? Like, the acronym spelled out?”

Rox turned to her and smiled delightedly in answer. June did not swoon at all at that.

“But… you didn’t even laugh when you said it just now… much less laugh your ass off,” June tried to reason.

As should have been expected at this point, this reasonable argument just elicited riotous laughter from Rox.

Karkat rolled his eyes demonstrably. “This motherfucker is wearing fucking heart-shaped sunglasses indoors and you’re taking issue with her-… his-… their-… Uh, what the fuck pronouns do you go by, anyway… Rox?”

“I go by they/them, but I’m easy.” Naturally, Rox punctuated this with an exaggerated wink in Karkat’s direction.

Karkat rolled his eyes even harder somehow. “Ugh, you’re infuriating. What’s even the point of this obvious show? It’s not like you’re serious. We just fucking met, and I know you’re not actually that stupid. You’re a fucking Strider-Lalonde, obviously, so of course you’re an idiot, but not THAT much of an idiot. What exactly are you trying to accomplish here? I know you know it’s not actually going anywhere with _me_.”

Rox furrowed their brow and let their mouth hang open, putting one hand to their chest, apparently mock-affronted, but June thought it looked a bit too exaggerated to be a complete act. They countered, “Karkat… are you slut-shaming me right now?”

Karkat made a guttural noise in his throat somewhere between disgust and frustration. “FUCK NO.”

June hummed, pretending to think it over. Now that Rox’s flirty attention wasn’t directed at June specifically, June felt weirdly defensive of this strange person she had only met today. For some reason, she suspected Rox actually was a little sensitive about their overt sexuality, but it was much easier to put a joking face on any situation than to actually confront people. June could understand that. She did her fair share of waiting for problems to sort themselves out too. Hey, it worked out just fine more often than not.

June chimed in, “I dunno, Karkat… It kinda sounds like that’s what you were doing.”

Karkat literally pulled his hair and screamed in frustration, albeit notably restrained in volume. Rox grinned at June, apparently appreciative for the support, and it was probably the most genuine smile she had seen on their face yet. It tugged at June’s heart a bit.

Karkat visibly calmed his own breathing before saying, “Okay. We’re all adults here. I can admit my faults. Rox, I am sorry for implying that you are pretending to try to fuck a complete stranger and for implying that that’s necessarily a bad thing.”

Rox stuck their tongue out at Karkat playfully, but the accompanying grin looked a bit forced. “Thank you for that obviously hearting-fucking-felt apology.”

Karkat sighed heavily. “I’m sorry,” he said, this time with more evident feeling.

He looked around. The room was small. The only furniture to speak of were an old work bench, a retro computer station with a rickety-looking desk chair, a deep industrial sink, and a weird sort of caged area in the corner. Karkat shrugged, apparently to himself, before sitting in the desk chair.

That is, Karkat tried to sit in the desk chair.

The chair promptly tilted sideways at a 30 degree angle, and Karkat almost fell right out of it. He yelped before righting himself, and even then he wobbled in every single direction before he settled on leaning back awkwardly and looking at the two of them from over his nose. His arms were firmly clamped on the armrests, as if they could save him from falling somehow.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I don’t fucking know why I let Dirk Fucking Strider talk me into coming tonight. Him ditching me here is just the icing on the goddamn humiliation cake.”

June was admittedly confused at this point. “Hey, it’s not that embarrassing, right? Dave is supposed to be my best friend, but he ditched me here too. I still think this is some kind of prank, anyway… I just can’t figure out the point of it…”

June was about to get lost in thought about her prank war theory when Karkat spoke up again.

“No, you don’t understand. Dirk isn’t…” Karkat started. He seemed reluctant to finish. When June looked closely, she noticed Karkat’s cheeks looked a darker, slightly different shade of gray than they were before. He was blushing. And scowling at nothing, his eyes scrunched shut.

June couldn’t figure out what he was so upset and embarrassed about.

“You and Dirk aren’t really friends, per se… are you, Karkat?” Rox prodded gently.

Karkat inhaled sharply and stared contemplatively at Rox for a minute before he shook his head. They seemed to be having some sort of unspoken conversation, but June had no idea what it was.

“Of course,” they said. “Dirk doesn’t really do friends…” Rox laughed awkwardly, and it seemed to ease the tension in Karkat’s shoulders a bit.

June considered this. She had known Dirk almost as long as she’d known Dave, that is, longer than June had gone by June, but Dirk had never been easy to get close to. Even she would be hard pressed to call Dirk her “friend.” Years and years later, he was still more like “Dave’s brother.” She supposed she hadn’t really thought about it much before now.

Even so, she imagined that Dirk HAD friends. Somewhere. Surely he did! She racked her brain trying to think of who… Dave was his brother. She had heard both Dave and Dirk talk about Rox before, but again, Rox was family. Same with Rose. Jane? Well, she and Dirk worked together and competed with each other as much as anything. June had never actually heard Dirk mention Jane outside of work. Jake, maybe? They had fun together. Well… until they started dating…

Oh.

June might be a little slow on the uptake sometimes.

She looked at Karkat. Him and Dirk?

Karkat noticed her staring and glared back, as if to throw off any judgment ahead of time.

“You and Dirk dated?” June asked, just to confirm. She could never be completely sure she was right in these situations that required reading subtext and social cues. There was just too much margin for error.

Karkat scoffed. “Yeah, well, that’s one word for it. You could also call it a complete fucking shitshow.”

June found herself nodding without realizing it, and was therefore surprised when she felt Rox lightly punch her in the arm.

“Hey!” Rox said, “Dude’s an asshole and a genius-level idiot, but he’s still my cousin.”

“Oh! I didn’t mean… It just made sense once he said it. Not that… that Dirk’s relationships would necessarily be… shitty,” she clarified sheepishly.

June felt distinctly like she was digging her own grave here, which wasn’t an unusual feeling, but it was unusual how completely unable she was to escape from the situation and never speak to Rox or Karkat again, as would be her preference. She glanced at the red digital clock on the wall. 45 more minutes in social hell to go, and that was really only because they started late. She had to force herself to breathe naturally and think about something other than the time and the room and the lock on the door… like breathing normal breaths.

Rox snorted, like they were holding in a laugh to keep up the appearance of righteous indignation. It was weird, but their eyes, which June could see for a second over their shades, crinkled at the corners and looked almost affectionate towards her. She had to have imagined that.

Karkat rolled his eyes again. He apparently bought exactly 0% of Rox’s acts, all the time. He turned in his wobbly chair towards June, pointedly.

“What makes sense about me ‘dating’ Dirk Strider?” He made air quotes with his claws when he said “dating” and gave the ceiling a disdainful look before looking over his nose at June again.

“Well, I mean… I don’t know you, so I don’t know why you would date Dirk, but… I couldn’t imagine the two of you just, like, hanging out as friends… so when you said you dated, that made more sense to me.”

Karkat’s eyebrows furrowed even further somehow and he curled his upper lip incredulously. The effect was somewhat less intimidating with him leant back precariously in the chair, and June had to resist laughing at him. She didn’t actually want to piss the troll off.

“I mean… I can see him wanting to date you. That’s what I mean makes more sense,” June clarified. Rox made a “pfft” sound, but Karkat just waited, staring. At his lack of reaction, June continued, “I mean, you know, you got the whole… well, just look at you, you know?”

Karkat’s face slowly went slack with confusion. Rox giggled behind their hand and looked away in an apparent effort to be discreet. It didn’t help.

Karkat cleared his throat before speaking, apparently opting for a sensitive approach this time, “June… are you… hitting on me right now?”

“WHAT? No no no no no…” June shook her head vehemently and backed up a few more steps for good measure. “I meant for DIRK, not me. DIRK.”

Karkat definitely did not look like he believed that, and Rox was still giggling as silently as they could in the other direction. Still, Karkat appeared to let it go, so June didn’t bother trying to convince him.

“Well, anyway, it turned out Dirk and I weren’t… what you could remotely call meant for each other,” he said gruffly. “Still, I… I guess I was expecting something different from tonight.”

That helped Rox sober up quickly. “Hmm,” they said meditatively. They walked to the work bench and hopped up, sitting cross-legged on the countertop, and leaned forward to look at them both. “Well, we’re all stuck here for another... 39 minutes. I doubt we’ll manage to escape by the time the clock runs out. I say we get to know each other with a little story time! What do y’all think?”

June and Karkat looked at the clock and each other almost in tandem. They both just shrugged, and Rox didn’t wait for a more affirmative response than that before jumping right in.

“So, Karkat, what happened with you and Dirk? How did you get together in the first place?”

Karkat groaned. He stared at Rox and then June and then the clock, and back to Rox and June again, gnawing on his lower lip all the while.

“He didn’t tell you about us?”

Rox snorted. “Karkat, this is Dirk we’re talking about. The only reason I know he and Jake dated is because Jane told me, and she heard about it from Jake.”

“Ugh, right, of course he didn’t.”

“Hey Karkat?” June tried, “I know Rox is Dirk’s cousin, and the Striders are basically family to me at this point since I’ve known them most of my life, but we’re not like judging you or anything… or I’m not anyway. I know what that’s like and I wouldn’t do it to someone else. I also wouldn’t go back and tell Dave anything you didn’t want me to. That said, you don’t have to share anything with us you don’t want.”

“Hear, hear! Well said, gorgeous.” June blushed at that but didn’t have time to protest. Rox turned to Karkat before adding their own two cents. “Dirk and I don’t really talk about his love life. I think he knows well enough to know I’d slap him upside his head if he told me all the stupid shit he gets up to.”

Rox suddenly schooled their face and looked more serious than June had seen them thus far. “Here’s the deal though. It’s like Vegas, right? What happens in the escape room, stays in the escape room. It’s a sacred bond of trust between us, right? Besides, I don’t think the Strider boys deserve to hear about any of it since they’re the ones who ditched us here. Spit-shake on it to seal the deal, come on.”

And with that, Rox spit into their palm, got up, and held their hand out to Karkat. He just looked at Rox’s hand like he thought it might both bite and contaminate him if he touched it.

“What are we, 12?”

Rox swiveled and offered the spit-hand to June instead. They looked so earnest and genuinely pleased that June couldn’t help but laugh and agree to Rox’s plan. She spit into her own palm and shook Rox’s hand. Rox rubbed their thumb across the back of June’s hand and squeezed lightly.

When they looked back, Karkat rolled his eyes and after some apparent internal debate, finally leaned forward and held out his hand.

Rox shook their head. “Sacred bond of trust, Karkat. Tch tch,” and they winked at him. They replenished the spit in their right palm before reaching out again.

Since Rox and June were standing close, it was hard to tell which of them Karkat was locking eyes with, but he didn’t blink or look away from them as he raised his hand, spit into his palm, and held it out again. The intensity of his gaze had June temporarily paralyzed. She felt tingles up her spine (and maybe elsewhere too).

“O-okay then, that’s that,” Rox stuttered, and June noticed their face was actually red now while they shook Karkat’s hand. “Your turn, June.”

Karkat turned to her and his hand was so close to his face that she couldn’t tell if he was licking his hand or spitting into it again, but she assumed the latter, whatever pictures her imagination conjured. His intense gaze had not abated, but now she could definitely tell he was solely focused on her. She quickly copied him and grabbed his hand. It was very warm on top of being slightly wet, she noticed. He let go and leaned back in his chair again after a few seconds, and June sighed, though whether it was in relief or disappointment, she didn’t quite know.

“Alright,” he said, like he was convincing himself of it, “alright.”

He paused and seemed to collect his thoughts, staring into space. Rox went back to sitting on the work bench, and June took the opportunity to slide down the wall and sit with her legs stretched out on the floor. Despite being across the room from each other, they were all only maybe 5 feet apart. It was a small room.

“Vegas rules then…” Karkat started. “So Dirk and I… well, I might have thought tonight was supposed to be… I mean, obviously not a date exactly, but...” Karkat shook his hands in frustration.

Rox hummed in sympathy. June frowned and then remembered herself and tried to look as reassuring as she could.

“I guess I was always more serious about this whole thing,” he gestured vaguely between himself and nothing, “than he ever was. When we met, I mean, I think I was just, you know… caught up in it all.”

He sighed. “Look, no one knows more than me what an idiot I was, okay? If I could go back and shake past me, I would… but you know, Dirk… he’s a smart, talented, handsome guy, and… he wanted _me_ … or at least he sure made it seem that way. Same old fucking story as always I guess.”

June frowned at that. She knew Dirk was the obsessive type, but she didn’t really think he was the type to pretend to have feelings he didn’t have. If anything, she thought he had the opposite problem.

Karkat seemed lost in thought and unwilling to say those thoughts out loud, so Rox tried a different tactic. “How did you two meet?”

Karkat chuckled and fiddled with the hair at the base of his horn. “Well, the _first_ time really was happenstance. I was writing a piece on the robotics club battles hosted by the local colleges, and I went to see an event for myself. Of course, Dirk was there with his own robot. It was the stupidest looking piece of shit... It had anime shades to match his and it kept trash talking the other robots. What’s even the fucking point of that?”

Karkat chuckled wistfully to himself. June felt an odd little tug in her chest at the sight.

“That sounds about right,” Rox laughed. “So you’re, what, a journalist?”

“Well… _technically_ I’m still ‘in training,’ ” and again he used air quotes, with obvious disdain, “but that whole fucking piece was my idea, my research, my contacts. Ex-classmate of mine is the VP of his school’s robotics club and got me the invite to the battle, so the idiots at the paper actually let me write the fucking article, as if any other imbecilic idea would have made sense.

“Anyway, so I asked Dirk some questions after the battle, and he was pretty short and to-the-point, the tedious nookwhiffer. I got literally nothing interesting from the interview, so of course I didn’t think much of him after that.

“But then in the next few weeks… I kept running into him again. I’d see him on coffee runs, lunch runs, on the train on my early fucking morning commute… despite obviously never having seen him there before, the pandead idiot.”

“Pffft, I’m pretty sure Dirk doesn’t take public transport,” Rox inputted.

“Doesn’t he have a bike of some kind? It’s not a bike exactly, it’s… what do you call them?” June asked.

“A (fucking) Vespa,” Rox and Karkat said (mostly) together, Karkat facepalming afterward.

“Oh yeah, that’s right…” June said.

“Well, I’m glad you two agree with my self-evident fucking assessment, which is exactly what I told the moron – that he was clearly fucking stalking me,” Karkat said matter-of-factly.

Rox burst out with a full-on cackle. June couldn’t really control herself any better and ended up bent over from laughing.

“What did he say back, Karkat?” Rox asked, once they could speak again.

“Well, I think he gave up his ludicrous fucking charade at that point. He asked if I wanted to get a drink with him…” Weirdly, it was only at this point that Karkat looked uncomfortable, lost in his own memories. When he fidgeted, his broken chair wobbled to the other side so he was leaning back and to the left instead of right. He stoically ignored it.

“I thought… I mean, I know human romance is different from troll romance. I’ve lived on Earth long enough to know that… I just thought, well, I thought all the fucking effort he put in and the money he spent on drinks and food actually fucking meant something I guess? Fuck me, right? …Well, I guess he did actually.” Karkat laughed at his own joke, but it was an abrupt bark of a laugh, his head hung low the whole time.

“Oh honey…” Rox cooed, clearly wanting to reach out to Karkat.

June was still stuck on what Karkat had said. Rox was acting like they understood, but for June, there were too many possibilities for what that could mean had happened between him and Dirk, and some were just unthinkable. “Wait… so what _exactly_ happened?”

“Oh… I just… I made a stupid decision. It was my own fault. I should have known better than to sleep with someone that soon... We weren’t on the same page like I thought. That is, I thought it was a fucking whirlwind romance and he – apparently – thought it was a casual fucking fuck.” Karkat’s voice was oddly quiet during this admission.

June breathed a sigh of relief. She really didn’t want to think _too_ badly of Dirk. Rox just hummed sympathetically.

“Hey, we’ve all done that before.” Rox glanced at June, and June blushed and bit her lip, avoiding eye contact. Rox continued, “I mean, at least I’ve had my fair share of extremely regrettable one-night stands… Maybe more than my share, even.”

Rox laughed at themself and then smiled at Karkat. “It’s not something to be embarrassed about. Happens, you know?” they said reassuringly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Karkat replied, seeming to perk up a bit.

Rox tilted their head in thought. “Here’s my question: after that, how did you end up agreeing to whatever scheme this is tonight?”

Karkat rubbed his face with his hands. “It’s a fucking thing with me, apparently. I’m technically ‘friends’ with all my exes. Pattern is: I ruin the relationship, get my pathetic little heart broken a-fucking-gain, take it out on them until I’m blue in the face, make them feel fucking bad like it’s not my fault for not knowing better by now, and then after that they – for whatever reason – claim to want to be friends with me. It’s a fucking mystery.”

Rox winced through Karkat’s speech, but they also snickered at his concluding statement.

“Anyway, Dirk being Dirk, and me being fucking me, I guess I read into it tonight,” Karkat admitted.

“Well, if not… that… why do you guys think they really invited us here if they were just going to ditch us?” June queried the room at large. It had been bugging her literally all night. She felt like she was missing a puzzle piece to this somewhere, and she needed that piece to effectively respond to Dave’s prank.

Rox smirked and swung their feet, looking over their heart shades at June with a twinkle in their eye. Suspicious. What did they know that June didn’t?

“Well…” they started slowly, tapping their chin in a cartoonish manner that June did not buy as genuine, “it’s a bit convenient, don’t you think?”

Karkat scoffed. “What’s convenient? The forced awkward social interactions? The unavoidable claustrophobia? The complete and utter waste of my apparently worthless fucking time?”

“No, I mean… well, it’s a memorable first meeting anyway.” They smiled at June and Karkat in turn, and this time it was an open, honest smile.

June admittedly lost track of the conversation a little in that smile. She smiled back before she realized she was doing it.

Karkat snorted, but he was looking at Rox and then June with curious eyes. “I suppose it is,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck absently.

He rocked a little in his chair and then cleared his throat. It was an odd, slightly alien noise: less guttural and wet, more dry and clicking. June pondered troll throat anatomy – after all, she’d never seen a troll throat, not from the inside. What an odd thought. How would you look at it from the inside? It’d be a little dangerous at the very least… and now she was thinking about troll teeth… Troll mouths in general maybe. Troll tongues? They always seemed a little pointier than human tongues whenever she caught a glimpse of them. More… flexible than they should be.

She hadn’t realized she was staring at Karkat’s mouth in particular while on her little thought rabbit trail until he made a new odd (and surprisingly deep – how did he do that?) clicking noise in his throat. His eyes, as always apparently, were more intense than expected, and made her sweat a little under her collar.

“Um,” he said, the most eloquent she had heard him tonight.

June heard Rox giggle once before it was quickly muffled.

“Heh heh, sorry Karkat. Zoned out for a minute there,” June covered. She felt this was a valid explanation, but made a mental note to try not to get too sidetracked again.

“Right,” he said, looking away. He brushed his hair back from his face and looked around the room again.

“So,” he said, “how do you think we get out of this festering shithole?” He said this like he was talking about the weather.

Turning in his chair toward the cage in the corner, he asked, “…and what in gog’s name is that supposed to be?”

“Ooh, yeah!” June said, hopping to her feet with renewed energy. She brushed off the seat of her shorts automatically and practically skipped over to the cage to inspect it more closely. There was another retro style computer station inside, along with a corkboard on the wall, and a metal toilet for some reason.

“On the website, this room looked the most interesting because of the cage. Also, you know… the idea is supposed to be about some kind of hacker conspiracy!” June gushed.

She turned around and caught Rox quickly snapping their head up, like they had been looking down at something. They smiled a little sheepishly for some reason before regaining their composure.

“Hackers you say? I doubt anyone here has ever even met an elite haxxor babe before. Let’s see what elementary bullshit they got!” And with that, they used their arms to push themself in a wide leap off the workbench.

June and Rox scoured the cage, as much of it as they could see, and then the room at large, for all the clues they could find. Rox stuck pretty close to June and was perhaps a bit closer a lot of the time to June’s personal space than strictly necessary, but June was excited to be unraveling the escape room mystery finally, so she only noticed about 30% of the time, like when their arms or thighs brushed.

Karkat sat in his rickety chair and watched their collective antics for the first few minutes before he apparently gave up and joined their search. He spent most of his efforts arguing with June or Rox or both about what a particular clue meant and where they should look for the next one. Being proven wrong about half the time didn’t seem to faze or deter him from this in the slightest.

By the time the buzzer sounded on the clock, and the employee unlocked the door to let them out, they were not even close to solving the mystery or escaping the room on their own. However, they _had_ at least managed to get inside the cage, which was the primary interest for June and Roxy anyway, mainly because neither could fathom the point of the metal toilet in there. They examined it top to bottom, even looking all inside the bowl and opening up the back, but it appeared to be literally nothing more than a metal toilet in a cage. Maybe it was for the atmosphere and aesthetic? Karkat scoffed at that idea. Rox laughed their ass off, as usual.

Regardless of metal toilet purposes, they were all thoroughly absorbed in their game and entirely surprised and disappointed by the sudden interruption and forfeit. It took them all a minute to mentally give up and walk outside with the nice employee, who was just as polite and friendly as before they unceremoniously locked three strangers in a small room together.

Apparently it was tradition to take photos post-escape room game, and premade signs were available for the occasion. Rox immediately picked up a cow head and donned it before combing through the various sign options. They ended up with a printed version of the Jackie Chan "WHAT???" meme. June put on an old-fashioned gold scuba helmet and picked up a Spongebob meme announcing the time to be “ONE HOUR LATER…”

Karkat didn’t pick up any costume, but he did grab the standard escape room sign and stand next to the two of them for photos. Rox looked him up and down (which was made that much more obvious with their elongated rubber snout) and promptly declared, “Hm, no.”

They beckoned June over and each chose an item for Karkat to hold. June chose a much-too-small top hat, which she thought frankly looked adorable atop his messy hair, his horns on either side and holding it up perfectly.

Rox chose a sign proudly proclaiming that Karkat “Didn’t escape but at least I’m cute!” Karkat curled his lip at this and said, “Really?”

“It’s perfect,” Rox said with an appraising look and a smirk. June giggled despite herself.

Karkat rolled his eyes but accepted his fate with a modicum of grace and posed with his sign. Rox and June flanked him and leaned in, Rox with their arm wrapped around Karkat, hand extended as close to June as possible. June bent to lean toward them and proudly displayed her sign with one hand and a thumbs up with the other.

The employee laughed good-naturedly. “That’s great, guys,” they said and snapped a few photos.

Afterward, Rox went straight to the register and paid for three copies of the photos, which they said they would be keeping for themself and shoving in Dirk and Dave’s faces to show them what they missed, respectively.

June laughed and requested a copy for herself for keepsake purposes.

Karkat rolled his eyes again, but he smiled, and when Rox and June kept talking and turned away, they heard him quietly request his own copy. They shared a look and smiled at each other and considerately did not comment on it.

“So,” Rox started.

“So.” Karkat returned.

It was apparent even to June that they were all stalling. It felt too soon for the night to end. Then she felt her stomach rumble and was struck with inspiration.

“I’m hungry!” she declared.

Rox and Karkat both stared at her, blank-faced.

“I think there’s supposed to be a really good Alternian cafe somewhere around here,” she informed them before pulling out her phone to check the location. She noticed there was a text from Dave, but she swiped it aside. She was on a mission at the moment.

“Yeah, it’s right down the road apparently. What do you guys think? Do you want to go?” she inquired.

Karkat gaped at her.

Rox whooped. “I’m starving! Yes, a thousand times yes! Let’s go.”

“Alternian cafe?” Karkat repeated.

“Yeah! I hear they have really fresh grubloaf actually!” June chirped. She was proud to be the bearer of fine local cuisine knowledge considering how infrequently she actually left the house or went out to eat. Her dad actually had been the one to suggest this cafe months ago, which he tried for lunch one day with his serious business friends, but June would not be admitting that to Rox and Karkat.

“Fresh grubloaf,” Karkat repeated, like a large, incredulous parrot.

“Oooh,” Rox said. “MMmm…”

Karkat looked between the two of them, shook his head, shrugged, and said, “Alright. Let’s fucking go then.”

Rox whooped again, and they piled into Rox’s (very messy) little Prius for the short trek to the restaurant. Karkat shuffled some food wrappers to the floorboard as inconspicuously as he could (not very) before sitting shotgun.

June sat in the middle in the back, leaned forward and jamming out to Rox’s indie synth pop (according to the app on their phone). June wasn’t the least bit familiar, but she had never felt that to be any sort of requirement for enthusiastically dancing along. Rox seemed thoroughly amused and turned up the volume, singing along to words June didn’t know. Karkat just watched them at first, but June noticed him bobbing his head and rhythmically tapping his claws on his thigh after a minute.

It was over too soon, but Rox practically screamed the last notes through their open windows in the parking lot, much to the dismay of a couple of older trolls headed into the restaurant. Rox and June laughed loudly, and they all piled out of the car, Karkat trying to hide his own grin.

It was a lovely meal, with grubloaf so fresh it seemed about to wriggle away and start crying, and with lively conversation all around. Rox and June took turns taunting Karkat into arguments on various subjects ranging from escape rooms to music to politics to romance, movies, family, and religion. Nothing was off-limits, and Karkat had opinions about everything, which he did not hesitate to share in a loud and verbose manner. As much as he huffed and puffed and yelled at times, though, he never seemed to genuinely be upset or want to change the subject at all. He seemed content to argue, and Rox and June were content to egg him on.

Somehow, after staying long past their welcome and long past it becoming dark outside, the night still felt over too soon for them to part ways after dinner. With the servers shooting near constant impatient looks their way, their little party finally headed back to Roxy’s Prius (making sure to leave a generous tip in apology for their overstaying).

“Well,” Rox started again.

“Yeah,” June said, smiling a little regretfully.

“I hear there’s a nice park around here,” Karkat said unexpectedly.

“What?” Rox said more than asked.

“Might be nice to walk off that meal,” he said.

June beamed at him. “My kind of guy,” she said.

She couldn’t be sure because it was pretty dark already, but it sure looked like Karkat might have blushed at that. She briefly hoped he didn’t take what she said the wrong way. It kind of slipped out, and she didn’t really mean anything by it.

Then she looked into Karkat’s beautiful red eyes and held his gaze. She found herself forgetting whatever concerns she just had because everything seemed just right in that moment anyway. She felt lucky to be on the receiving end of his very focused attention.

They ended up strolling slowly together along a winding trail in the park, walkway lit by the bright moon and cute little city lamp posts every so often to counter the shadows of the surrounding trees.

Side by side by side, their hands often got close enough for them to brush fingertips, and every time it happened with either one of her companions, June felt little sparks of energy shoot through her body from that exact spot.

At length, they found themselves in a cozy little open grassy area a ways into the woods. When they reached it, June gasped and ran ahead.

The field was littered with white dandelions, and flying every which way overhead were fireflies, lighting up the sky.

June ran around the field until she caught one and then carefully walked back to the others.

She looked at Karkat, who gazed skeptically back. Rox’s face, on the other hand, lit up with sheer glee when June looked their way. They raised their heart shades to the top of their head, and June slowly raised her cupped hands to Rox and handed over the firefly. Rox carefully collected the little bug in their own cupped hands and stared in fascination.

“Hi little one,” they said to the firefly. They glanced up at June, grinning thoughtfully. “I’m going to call you Serenity.”

“Are you taking that home?” Karkat asked.

June gasped. “No! This is catch and release firefly fishing only!”

Rox giggled. “I would never take you so far from home, sweetie,” they said, still talking exclusively to the little bug. “You deserve to be free.” At that, they flattened their hands in invitation to the creature. It continued crawling on Rox’s fingers for a few seconds before flying back to its fellows.

“It was nice to meet you, Serenity,” Rox said.

“What’s the point of naming a wild firefly?” Karkat asked.

“Oh, I’m sure they have their own firefly name already,” Rox clarified, “but this gives me something to remember them by.”

Rox was staring at the fireflies with bright eyes, and June felt her breath catch at the sweet, caring, and lovely person before her. Rox caught her looking and reached a hand out to June and Karkat. June grabbed both their hands in turn.

June, bursting with enthusiastic energy still, but not wanting to ruin the moment, tugged them both down to the grass with her. Dandelion wisps flew up in a cloud around them when they hit the ground. June looked around and picked an intact dandelion that managed to escape their landing. After inspecting it carefully, she presented it to Karkat.

He hesitated a moment and then plucked it delicately from her hand. He twirled it between his claws in apparent wonder.

“Make a wish,” said June.

“A wish?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s just a silly thing we used to do when we were kids, like when you blow out birthday candles. You know, make a wish, blow all the wispies off the flower,” June explained.

“This is a weed actually,” said Karkat, apparently unable to stop himself from arguing, even in quiet moments such as these.

June stuck her tongue out at him. “Spoil sport.”

He looked at her with those intense eyes, which were the most interesting flashes of red in the low firefly light. Staring straight at her, he waited a moment and then took a deep breath and blew on the dandelion.

He didn’t manage to blow away all of the wisps near the bottom, but June had lots of practice, and she was pretty sure it was impossible to get all of them anyway. Still, his brow furrowed when he saw and he looked a little annoyed about it.

“What’d you wish for?” Rox asked, elbowing Karkat lightly in the arm from where they sat beside him.

“Wait, you can’t tell us!” June informed them both cheerfully. “That’s part of the dandelion lore, you know. If you tell anyone your wish, it won’t come true.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and then eyed them each in turn, contemplating.

“Not that I believe any of that complete and utter bullshit, but it doesn’t matter if I tell you,” he said. “It was an impossible wish.”

Rox’s eyes went wide and sparkled mischievously. “Well, now you have to tell us.”

June thought about it. “Couldn’t hurt then, I guess,” she said and grinned at Karkat.

Karkat sighed and took a deep breath.

“I wished I could just stay here forever… just the way we are now, in this moment.”

He looked at Rox and then June with that same intense gaze, and that was it. June had had enough.

She sat up on her knees, not worried about her custom ordered comic print leggings right now. She scooted forward closer to the two of them. She felt the grass stains collecting from the lightly damp grass rubbing on her knees, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Reaching up and brushing his hair back, she lightly held his ear with two fingers and tapped the back of his head with her other three. She looked in his eyes one last time before leaning forward and brushing his lips with hers. She felt his sharp intake of breath before she leaned back. Her hand, of its own accord, continued to play with his ear and hair. She had no control over that and had given up trying to control it already.

Karkat’s eyes were closed and he seemed frozen for the moment. He reopened his eyes slowly, and somehow they were more beautiful than the last time June saw them, about 30 seconds ago.

June couldn’t help but smile at him, even if his face was still somewhat slack and expressionless… except for his eyes of course. In the short hours she had known him, she sometimes got the funniest idea that she could see the universe in those eyes.

June saw Rox watching them in her periphery and turned to better observe their reaction. It wasn’t an envious expression at all, like June half expected. Rox was more serious than they had been almost the entire night, but their expression read hopeful. Their pupils were dilated, wanting, and their mouth curved up in a small grin, waiting. It sent a little thrill up June’s spine.

The hand that had resigned itself to being attached to Karkat forever stayed where it was, tangled in his hair, and June used the hand on Rox’s side to grab one of Rox’s hands. June held it to her mouth and kissed the second knuckle of Rox’s middle finger before moving down the line to the other fingers and back across.

She could feel Rox’s rapidly increasing pulse in their fingers, which did nothing more than spur her on. On June’s second pass across their fingers, this time up to the third knuckle, Rox rushed forward and used their long body to curl around June’s front. Rox bent in and kissed June on the temple beside her eye, down her cheek, and finally, on the lips.

It was such a sweet kiss. Perfect, really. Rox tasted like the sugary drink they had been drinking at the restaurant, and they moved their lips against June’s like they were dancing together. June only parted from them to catch her breath, but she didn’t open her eyes right away, and Rox didn’t immediately return.

It took June a full 20 seconds to escape the hazy brain from that kiss enough to realize 1) that Karkat and Rox were holding hands, and when did that happen? And 2) that they were gazing at each other with their faces very close to one another.

When they leaned toward each other and finally kissed, June thought she would lose her mind right then and there. Maybe had already. It was hard to tell where one ended and the other began because both seemed intent on sucking the other into themselves. Also because with the nearly faded sunlight and the fireflies all around, June was getting brief but glorious glimpses of their faces, like fireworks.

Because June had crawled into Karkat’s space and Rox had slid smoothly into June’s, they were all very close together still. Thus it would not have been unreasonable for the hand June had dedicated to Karkat to still be entangled in his hair, but she had lost focus and her arm had gone slack. She was a bit surprised to find that it had ended up sliding down his chest and was now precariously balanced on his midsection, dangerously close to falling straight into his waiting lap.

Not willing to part from him entirely, she eyed her hand thoughtfully for a moment.

Karkat and Rox separated only for him to turn his gaze on June again, eyebrow raised and lips glistening, a bit of spit occasionally visible shining on his gray chin. Dragging her eyes back up, she realized he was watching her, apparently trying to gauge her reaction.

She looked at Rox, who sat watching with a tiny, crooked smile and wide, curious eyes. Their pupils were as dilated as ever, and they seemed to be breathing heavily. They squeezed June’s hand, which June hadn’t really realized was still attached to Rox (or herself for that matter).

She stared dumbly at it, collecting her thoughts. How far did she want this to go? She just met these people today, and June just didn’t do things like this. She didn’t hook up at all actually. Much less with strangers… two strangers… outside in a technically _public space_ …

But that’s not how it felt being with them.

She didn’t know why – it didn’t make any kind of logical sense – but she _felt_ like she could trust them.

She didn’t want to stop, she decided. Not if they didn’t… She supposed that meant it was time to ask their opinions on the matter.

She squeezed Rox’s hand back and smiled shyly up at them from under her eyelashes.

“Hm?” Rox hummed quizzically.

“Mm,” June agreed automatically.

Despite the complete lack of clarity in that exchange, Rox looked positively delighted. Their tempered smile quickly grew to take up about half their face, and they seemed to fidget almost immediately, like their body was suddenly full of more energy than it could contain. It was extremely charming, and June’s smile instinctively grew in response.

She looked to whom she felt would be a more challenging hold out. He was just looking at her the same as before, face calm and eyes intent, waiting. She slowly, deliberately, rubbed her thumb back and forth where it rested on his torso. Good gog, he was firm. She couldn’t wait to get his sweater off.

Wait, why was she waiting again? She dropped her Karkat-hand to the hem.

“…Can I?” she asked him.

He didn’t move, but after a couple seconds, and still perfectly calm, albeit trembling a bit, he just said, “Yes.”

She may have gotten a little too excited, in retrospect. The sweater ended up getting caught on his arms and horns and everything else. Rox giggled breathily and rubbed swirls in his back – to help, presumably. June… may have gotten a bit distracted at one point and barely resisted licking his entire upper body starting with his rumble spheres. Unfortunately, this only added to the seconds his head was uncomfortably stuck in the sweater.

Finally freed, Karkat’s face darkened and he scowled pointedly, like June had done it on purpose.

In an utterly tragic move, he crossed his arms over his naked chest. She could practically see the scribble-filled thought bubble over his head, and his face was clearly red, even in the low light.

“Karkat…” June started, genuinely trying her best to suppress a giggle and considerately focus on his feelings. It was harder with his lips tantalizingly pouty like they were at the moment. “I’m sorry-”

At that point, June was interrupted by a soft whip to her cheek. She looked over in time to see a dark and empty sleeve fly across her vision to the other side of Karkat. A pale arm reached out and grabbed the sleeve’s cuff, effectively wrapping Karkat in the garment.

It quickly became apparent where the sleeve came from. Rox was looking over their… very naked shoulder… and dancing, almost grinding, with their ass as close to Karkat as possible without actually touching him. Rox was using their hoodie to hold him in place, not that he seemed currently interested in trying to escape. This left their upper half completely exposed since, apparently, Rox didn’t believe in undergarments.

Rox was having to sort of crouch to get in the right position for a lap dance with Karkat kneeling on the ground. It was admittedly a bit ridiculous, but June had long since lost objectivity on the matter and was drooling a bit.

While watching the impromptu show, June realized she heard a faint buzzy sort of noise and listened closer… _They were alone, weren’t they?_

“Ngst ngst ngst,” the noise continued, more clearly this time, and close.

“Oh my gog,” Karkat groaned. “Are you… are you making your own dance music right now?”

Rox cackled. “How else am I going to keep the beat?”

They punctuated this statement with a hard roll of their hips, a hair’s breadth from Karkat’s barely contained bulge. It was moving so obviously, it looked like it might shove his pants down of its own accord.

June had yet to see a troll bulge or nook in person, but she had received enough integrated sexual health education to know that bulges were practically prehensile. Given that and the fact that Karkat seemed completely oblivious to his bulge’s travails, June wondered idly if troll bulges had their own sort of brains, like octopus tentacles. She shook the thought off for later, during non-sexy times.

Rox had succeeded in getting Karkat to uncross his arms, and his hands were currently hovering uncertainly just over Rox’s upper arms, which were stretched back toward him, holding the hoodie in place around his back.

Rox turned and looked at his trembling hand over their bicep. They winked blatantly and blew a kiss at him before turning away again and wriggling their ass. Karkat apparently took that as a go-ahead because he took revenge by running his claws feather-lightly along Rox’s upper arms. Rox visibly shivered and dropped one of the hoodie sleeves. Karkat took that opportunity to turn Rox in his arms.

He kissed them hard. There was definite tongue involvement, and Karkat seemed to open his mouth wider than June ever had while making out, presumably to leave extra room for his extra sharp teeth. Rox was obviously not the least bit concerned for the safety of their own lips and tongue, and they pushed forward into Karkat with reckless abandon.

June was so absorbed in watching the real-life softcore porn in front of her, she temporarily forgot to actually participate until Karkat reached out and pulled her in by the shirt collar. She fleetingly thought his claws might poke holes in her favorite Slimer tee, but those same claws scraped her collarbone and neck in the process, and she forgot the shirt in favor of the tightness in her leggings.

“Mm!” June whined, a little high-pitched, despite herself.

“Rrmm!” Karkat growled back, too quickly to be voluntary, the sound coming from deep in his throat.

June gasped and full-body shivered. That was unexpectedly hot.

“Mmm…” Rox hummed in agreement around Karkat’s mouth.

June couldn’t help but think it adorable that Rox was so obviously enjoying themself so much. She leaned forward and kissed Rox’s cheek.

Rox slid across Karkat’s face without breaking contact and caught June’s lips with their own. They reached up to the back of June’s neck and moved themself and June as one until all three of them were lips to lips to lips.

The necessity of not being able to angle their faces meant that the kiss was a little chaste, awkward, and short-lived, but it was soft and warm and very much appreciated. June’s heart swelled to a dull ache in her chest, and she felt just a little dizzy pulling away.

Rox nuzzled the left side of June’s neck and pecked a trail of wet warm kisses in their wake. Their fingers were tracing intricate patterns that June couldn’t follow on her shoulder, down her back, on her hip and outer thigh. Rox pinched the fabric of June’s legging and then let it snap back into place. It sent a little jolt through June in anticipation.

As usual, Karkat’s intense eyes took all of this in and considered. June felt like she was going to die if things didn’t move along immediately and looked at him, trying to express as much unfettered desire as possible through her eyes.

Karkat actually laughed at that. “What?” he said. “What do you want, June?”

“Mmmph… ohh…” June said, partly in frustration, and partly because Rox was mouthing a sensitive spot behind her ear.

“Try using your words,” Karkat suggested in amusement. “You remember words, right?”

Rox giggled, which June felt in her neck. June scowled. She had never felt comfortable talking about sex specifically… possibly due to her distinct lack of experience with it, but her dignity was unfortunately just not priority at the moment. _Rip Dignity_ , she thought _you were nice while you lasted_.

“I… I want to take these off.” June brushed her sweaty palms across her shorts. “I want you to touch me… please,” June admitted, staring straight into Karkat’s eyes.

Karkat audibly hissed in a breath. “Okay,” he agreed. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Gently, he slid his hands down her sides to the button and zipper on her shorts and then guided her into a sitting position. He slid her shorts off entirely first. Then he (agonizingly slowly) slid his claws up her ankle, inside her calf, and along her inner thigh before casually going back across the top of her thigh to the top of her leggings. It was just hard enough to where she could feel how strong his claws were, but it wouldn’t break the skin through her leggings. It was also completely unfair teasing, and she needed relief immediately or something bad was going to happen… like her sudden and tragic death.

Karkat took whatever unspoken hints she was giving because she had no idea what they were. He pulled down her leggings and panties in a smooth motion.

She had the briefest moment of panic, not because of anything Karkat or Rox had done, but just because the thought of someone seeing her naked for the first time was still new enough to be nerve-racking.

Karkat made a chittering noise in his throat almost at the same time as he made a deep growly moan. June wondered if they ended up together if she would keep being amazed by all of his little alien oddities. She couldn’t currently imagine ever tiring of it. She imagined it might take a lifetime anyway to find all of them out.

Then Karkat kissed her inner thigh and looked up at her. He brought his mouth right up to the tip of her penis before pausing. “Can I?” he asked.

June nodded enthusiastically, wide eyed.

He kissed the tip sweetly. She could feel every part of his lips, but it was closed-mouth and brief. He repeated this kiss in a sort of zig zag pattern down the length of her shaft. Then he opened his mouth wide and proceeded to lick from her balls all the way up to the head.

“Hnggh,” June moaned involuntarily.

“Are we sharing your snack, Karkat?” Rox asked, but when June opened her eyes, it wasn’t Karkat that Rox was looking at.

“Uh, yes, definitely... Party platter,” June somehow managed to supply.

Rox smiled in that genuinely charming way that took up half their face and lit up the world around them. June couldn’t help it. Her hand was already pulling Rox’s head to hers for a kiss. Rox had mapped out June’s mouth with their tongue before June felt a hand on her and pulled back to take a breath.

It was warm and smooth and perfect and slick enough to provide just the right amount of friction. Wait.

“Ah. Sorry. Got a bit of a mind of its own,” Karkat said, rubbing the back of his neck and pulling away.

She guessed that was sort of an answer to her earlier question. A practical answer if not a scientific one yet.

“Come back,” she said immediately.

Karkat swayed back into her space like a pendulum. She wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his back encouragingly while his bulge found her length again. Her other hand was busy carding through the short hairs at the back of Rox’s head. Meanwhile, Rox was busy becoming intimate with every curve and dip of her ear.

Rox stopped and looked down between June and Karkat. “...Two snacks in one,” they muttered under their breath, but June heard and snorted.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Karkat rasped, clearly distracted.

“That looks like a challenge,” Rox said, more clearly this time.

Karkat spluttered. “What the fuck,” he said, but he mostly just sounded overwhelmed, voice breathy.

Rox slid their hand down June and Karkat’s arms and lifted their hands simultaneously. Rox kissed their knuckles in turn before winking and dropping down to crotch level.

Rox started by licking up the sides of their intertwined members, their tongue doing its best to curve around as much skin as humanly possible. Rox did this a few more times, trying to moisten every part they could reach. Karkat’s bulge was not unresponsive during this and seemed to roll like a wave, following Rox’s tongue while still maintaining its hold on June.

Then Rox licked their lips before circling the tips with a swirl of their tongue. Admittedly, to say it fit would be a bit reductive. It couldn’t have been all that comfortable with how wide Rox was opening and how much they were drooling.

It wasn’t like human porn with two penises side by side – Karkat’s bulge was wrapped all the way around June’s penis like the red of a candy cane. Furthermore, his bulge was less than cooperative during the whole affair. It kept turning back in on itself to slide around Rox’s mouth and throat, making them gag unexpectedly. If it really did have a mind, that mind was very torn right now about whom to focus its attention on.

When Rox popped back off, they seemed exceedingly pleased with themselves, and that look made June’s stomach flutter as much as anything else that had happened so far.

“Hmm,” Rox hummed interestedly. “Karks, babe, can you spread your legs a bit?” they asked.

Karkat side-eyed them, but did as they asked.

Rox disappeared behind Karkat’s back, and June heard the soft thump of a body falling onto wet grass before Rox’s head appeared again between Karkat’s legs where he was kneeling. Rox’s grin was a mile wide.

“Y’all good up there?” they inquired casually.

“Couldn’t be happier,” June grinned back.

Karkat made a chittering noise, which June interpreted to be some kind of flustered.

“Excellent. I’ma stay down here if that’s ‘kay.”

Then they reached up, wrapping their forearms around the back of Karkat’s thighs to hold his hips, and Rox’s face disappeared from June’s view again. Karkat made a strangled noise though, so June had a pretty good idea what was happening. Karkat was sweating and panting, so June did the only thing she could and pulled his face to hers for their sloppiest make out yet.

His bulge squeezed and pumped not remotely in time with the hot, wet kisses they shared, which made it feel frantic and all the better.

“Mm… yes… more…” June heard from below. Rox was clearly getting off on this, hard.

“June, babe, please please, will you sit on my face?” Rox whined hotly.

“Oh god,” June responded. “Uh…”

She looked down at Rox’s waiting face staring up at her, their pupils completely blown.

“Yes. Okay,” she said, not really thinking about what she was agreeing to. It didn’t matter much to her at the moment. Anything Rox and Karkat wanted seemed like an incredible idea right now because she was certain it would feel amazing.

They all shuffled a bit in the grass. Rox wriggled on their back until their face was directly below June’s ass. They refused to release Karkat’s thighs, merely wrapping their arms around the front instead, so Karkat ended up shuffling forward with them, straddling Rox’s chest. When June slowly, carefully, lowered herself to sit, Karkat seemed to lean further into her space. His bulge adjusted accordingly from its slightly elevated position and held on.

Before June had time to ready herself mentally for it, she felt the ghost of a breath and a wet tongue just behind her balls. Rox licked a stripe from there to as far up between her cheeks as they could reach, not stopping to pause along the way. Then they came back and used the tip of their tongue to circle her entrance.

They stuck their tongue in almost cautiously, testing the waters, before pulling back out. June couldn’t help it. She whined. Karkat’s bulge responded to that with a firm squeeze and she whined again. Rox moaned in response, and it fucking vibrated against her ass. _Oh_ , she thought, _I see now. These people are trying to kill me._

June vaguely registered that Karkat’s body was moving erratically, but he was kissing her with heated frenzy, his writhing bulge was massaging her length, and Rox had stuck a lot more of their tongue up her ass, so she stopped thinking about anything at all and just let herself feel.

Karkat was rubbing up and down her arms, over her shoulders, tugging at her shoulder-length hair in the front, and then back down her arms again to start the process over. It was like he _needed_ to touch her as much as possible. He didn’t release her mouth to breathe for any more than a few seconds at a time.

Rox starting writhing their tongue, feeling around and trying to touch every spot inside June they could. When a certain spot meant that June had to break from Karkat to gasp at the sudden jolt of pleasure that went through her, Rox moaned (vibrated) again and attacked that spot with abandon. They thrust their tongue in and out to hit it over and over as best they could.

Karkat’s bulge took this same opportunity to slide down and wrap around June’s balls, rolling and massaging them. June knew at this point there was no way she was long for this world.

“Oh… OH!... OH my god… Oh my GOD!” she exclaimed before her vision whited out.

After a few seconds, she came to her senses a little more, finding herself leaning heavily onto Karkat, head slumped on his shoulder. It occurred to her there was no way Rox could breathe right now, so she pushed her weight onto her knees with seeming Herculean effort. She heard Rox gasp but they made no other complaint.

Karkat was shaking and moaning loudly. Rox’s hand had snaked up to work his bulge and their other hand was clearly being used to finger his nook. That arm was moving in time with Karkat’s body’s involuntary jerks. He had to be close.

He opened his eyes and looked right into June’s. She kissed him, and he moved his mouth against hers, but his mouth was too slack from pleasure to really kiss back. Then he furrowed his brow and curled his lips in what could have been a grimace, but June suspected not. He kissed her again and she could tell his body was tense. He bit down on her lower lip, obviously restraining himself from hurting her, but just barely. Finally, he shouted against her mouth.

She gave him a few moments to recover. Rox was rubbing and kneading his thighs soothingly. She still couldn’t see their face, so she scooted back and whirled around to check on them.

Rox looked dazed but utterly content. They blinked owlishly at June before relaxing in the grass and shutting their eyes.

“Rox? What about you? Want me to…?” she wasn’t honestly sure what she was going to suggest, but she was willing to do whatever Rox wanted at this point.

Rox cracked an eye open and smiled, “Thanks, babe, I’m _good_.”

Their tone made June hum inquisitively. Karkat had hopped to Rox’s side by then, and June realized Rox’s skinny jeans were open and pushed slightly down.

She looked at Karkat, who furrowed his brows and shook his head with a contemplative expression.

“You got yourself off?” she asked. It was hard to hide the disappointment in her voice.

Rox lolled their head to look her in the eyes.

“June, Karkat,” they glanced at Karkat before turning back to June, “you were both amazing. 10/10, would suffocate myself on you both again, any day of the week. Open invitation.” They smirked while saying this and then got a very intense look and stared straight into June’s eyes. “I came when you did, sweetcheeks.”

June blushed up to her ears and had to turn away.

“Hmm…” Karkat hummed thoughtfully. “Well, then, the least we could do is help clean you up.”

With that, he shoved down Rox’s tight skinny jeans enough to make room for himself and set to work. This effectively trapped Rox’s legs in their own clothes under Karkat’s body.

Karkat flattened his tongue and licked clean Rox’s inner thighs and every single fold of skin between their legs. He was almost coldly systematic about it, going in and around their inner and outer labias and circling their clit with his tongue before going back down, like he was trying to clean Rox from the inside too.

Oversensitive from coming once already, Rox was a whimpering, shivering mess throughout this, constantly wriggling involuntarily. Karkat ignored this entirely, intent on his task. By the time he was done, Rox had moaned loudly enough to alert the entire park to their activities (well, alert them again) and come a second time. Afterward, they seemed unable to do anything but pant and lie completely boneless in the grass.

They all just breathed for a moment.

“Next time,” June said, staring at Rox’s prone form, “let’s trade places.”

The world seemed to stop and everything was quiet for a minute while June realized what she said.

“Next time?” Karkat asked.

“I mean…” June thought about it and looked between the two of them. Despite their exhaustion, Rox was craning their neck to peer at June, waiting to hear her response. Karkat was giving her one of his patented intense Karkat stares, mouth pressed in a line like he was holding in his words because he was determined to wait her out first.

It was quiet around them except for the crickets and quiet noises of the nearby forest. The fireflies continued to twinkle all around the little field.

She didn’t want to lose this, she decided. Not either of them.

“Next time,” she said more firmly, “if you’ll both continue to have me.”

There was a beat of silence, during which June was pretty sure her heart was stopped and waiting for one of them to speak.

Rox sat up and moved to get on their knees. It was very awkward with their pants still around their thighs, which were notably shaking, and Rox stumbled twice before righting themself.

Rox grabbed both sides of June’s face and rubbed their thumbs in circles on June’s cheeks. They kissed her and it was soft, sweet, and lingering. Rox looked June in the eyes and smiled before pecking her lips once more and sitting back.

“Of course,” they said, apparently for good measure.

June beamed at Rox.

They both turned to Karkat. He shrugged and shook his head, but he was smirking and couldn’t seem to hide that.

“Hm…” he said, like he was thinking about it, the fucker. “Okay, but _someone_ had better buy my dinner first next time,” he said.

June gasped in mock offense and Rox dissolved into giggles.

“Done,” Rox said.

They all slowly dressed again enough to be comfortable. However, before putting their hoodie back on, Rox playfully dragged June and Karkat together and wrapped the hoodie around both their necks. It wasn’t quite long enough to tie the sleeves together, but Rox wrapped the sleeves over one another in a semblance of such, and leaned back against their shoulders. Rox slipped a phone out of their pocket and held it away to take a selfie of the three of them.

“To commemorate the night,” they clarified and then pulled up the picture to look at it.

Rox had somehow managed to frame the picture so that it was from their shoulders up, so their partially nude state was not visible. They had naturally put their mirror heart shades back on for the photo op and were smiling smugly at the camera. 

Karkat was wearing an annoyed frown, but he was also looking over at the two of them with an endeared and hopeful look that both broke and warmed June’s heart.

June, herself, looked the happiest she had ever seen herself.

“You two look like a gift wrapped up like this. I’m going to call you Dave and Dirk’s housewarming gift to me. I’ll have to thank them.”

With that, Rox laid back in the grass, quickly followed by June and Karkat on either side, and opened up a text to Dave.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
  
TG: thx baby cuz for the housewarming gift ;D  
TG: have to pay u n dirky back for that  
  
\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] sent turntechGodhead [TG] the file "babes.jpg" –-  
  
TG: cute  
TG: yall have a good date then  
TG: …  
TG: we have a good WHAT, dave??????  
  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] \--

"Hey guys?" Rox said. "I think Dave just admitted to setting us up."

**Author's Note:**

> So, my friend suggested June would have more chest and presentation dysmorphia than bottom dysmorphia. Now that's my headcanon.
> 
> UPDATE: I learned how to do pesterlogs on AO3 and fixed it here! It was actually really fun. :D


End file.
